A Reflection...

Would I be human if I didn't admit that there is a slight fear in the risk that I am taking? Yet, not as much as before. I have been prepared for this move, and I will take it knowing that, in due time, I will know what to do in each situation with which I am faced. I see my situation in Korea as described in the words of Lord Alfred Tennyson.

I envy not the beast that takes
His license in the field of time,
Unfetter'd by the sense of crime.
To whom a conscience never wakes;

Nor, what may count itself as blest,
The heart that never plighted troth
But stagnates in the weeds of sloth,
Nor any want-begotten rest.

My time here in Korea has been filled with adventures, work, relationships, and a mixture of all together. It has been informative, fun, and life-changing, but it is time to go. The lifestyle here allows one, as a foreigner, to get comfortable due to being exempt from many responsibilities that one might have at home. When something goes wrong it is easy to feign ignorance because of being from a foreign land where "things are done differently". I, too, have been guilty of this.

Eight years ago I heeded the call and unknowingly followed the words of Tennyson and came to Korea. It was an exhilerating feeling giving up all I had in Florida and setting off with two suitcases to the Far East. The hardships I have encountered here are priceless to me. I don't believe I will ever be able to express in words what or how they have made me into who I am today. Even if God had blessed me with the talent of writing, my story would be classified as fiction for no one could believe this journey I have been on. It is a treasure that God and I share, and I wouldn't trade it for any other dream I could imagine.

Now as I prepare to head back to the US, my heart is once again filled with the pang of anticipation and wonder. However, the fear that I felt in coming to Korea no longer taunts me. As I write, tears no longer come to my eyes because I return with the faith that God is most definitely with me wherever I go. This used to only be a religious catch-phrase to me. Now, it is my passport to any destination. As this journey progresses, it proves only stronger in truth.

Why should I cry for anything in the past? I have experienced it, and part of it remains with me. I step forward with joyful memories that bring a smile to my face and a warmth to my soul. Korea has been a catalyst for this. The dust from my feet shall not be shaken as I leave. Korea, with all the experiences of my time here, will be in my heart.

Moving Back to the US

I have been back in Korea for three days now and am just settling into the idea of leaving. Honestly, I am not having any second thoughts. I am just trying to figure out how a big move like this works. It is funny; it seems like my whole life has been full of moves and this one is the biggy.

At Christmas I was offered a job with a company in Atlanta working as a communications/marketing director. The offer sounded great, but they wanted me to move back to the US by March. I could see no clear way to wrap up eight years in two months and start a new life with a new job in Atlanta; I turned it down. They persisted over the weeks and asked me to take one of the three weeks I was going to spend in Hawaii in January and visit the company in Atlanta just to see what the offer was all about. I am glad I did; it seems that wrapping things up here is easier than I thought. The company is arranging for all my belongings to be shipped back; I only have to arrange for the dogs.

I checked on getting the dogs back, and it seems that I can only take one dog at a time. If I take two, one will go down in the luggage compartment and the other will have to fly with me in the passenger area. But the one with me would have to be in a kennel that could fit under the seat. I don't know if you remember how small that area is, but neither of my dogs can fit down there. I will double-check that with Korean Air; something just doesn't seem right on that. Someone else told me that it is better for two dogs to fly together in one kennel because there is less stress. That could be only hearsay.

If I can only fly one dog at a time, then I will take Soongah(the schnauzer) with me this time and come back and get Neunggum(the maltese) in April when I fly back to close out my apartment. She can stay with friends here for that month and a half. That will be less stress on mom and dad too. I have wondered just how mom and dad will handle Soongah for that time. He is a house-trained dog, but he isn't used to staying in a house with carpet. That worries me a little. Dogs do have accidents from time to time and I wouldn't want to cause them any undue stress while he is there. But we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

As far as second thoughts, I think I have been prepared to leave Korea over the past year. Little by little incidents here have prepared me for returning to the US. Over the past 8 years during each visit home, I have really asked myself, "can I come back here and not regret leaving the home I have created in Korea?" Early on there seemed no way that I could. Yet, each visit when I have asked myself that question, it has gotten easier and easier to see myself living there again. I worried most about what kind of job I could get that would allow me to feel that I wasn't selling out to move back. Dad always said that each time you change jobs, your salary should at least get higher and higher. I have stuck to that idea and created a nice life here. The big question was could I find the kind of work that would not only allow me to have a similar salary and work life, but also have a place close to home. I worried that I could only find that kind of life in cities much further away from home which would only lessen my chances of spending time with my family.

This job in Atlanta truly is a blessing. It not only matches the salary that I am making here in Korea, but, along with allowing me to keep up my Korean language skills, it also allows me to work on a project basis, giving me flexible time to spend with the family-and it is only 4 hours away from home. All of the concerns I have had over the years about returning to the States have been met--how could I have any regrets? Regret is lack of faith in God's blessings for the future. In all that I have done, He has taken care of me and shown me how to be who I am. Now, I am ready for the challenge of returning to life in the States. This is an exciting time where one chapter is closing and another is opening. These are truly some of the most exciting times in life.