Three Years...

It is difficult to believe that it has been two years since my last post. Ironically, it seems longer than three years since my return to the US. How is it that time can feel like yesterday from one perspective and a lifetime from another?

When last I posted, darkness surrounded me but a glimmer of hope existed. That darkness was so real. Tears were never really far away. What changed? I live in the same place. I basically see the same people. I frequently do the same things. But the darkness has lost its control. Gratitude fills me for that. So what have I learned?

I have learned that no matter where I live, no matter how many people I meet, no matter whom I love, no matter what job I have, the only thing that really matters in this life is how much I love and attend myself. The stillness that is I, waits; waits for...nothing. It expects nothing. It waits patiently without judgement like a firmly-founded rock in a raging river. Over time, the swiftly passing water may smooth the edges, but it has no power to move the rock. The glare of the sun on the rushing water distracts, but the foot in faith grasps the rock's firm edge and stands confidently.

Love escapes me. Friendship puzzles me. Observation consumes me. But the rock that is I, comforts me.

Yes, still learning...