The Letters: 9/12/24

 September 12, 2024

Dear Ron,

Thank you for taking me down memory lane throughout your letter from September 8. It's good to hear from you. And, right you are that, at this age, (like I need reminding) there is a better vantage point.  But this hindsight is, by no means, 20/20, as they say-whomever "they" are.  If anything, your comments trigger glimpses of such innocent times-clear, but fading, images of the past, that take me back to situations I haven't revisited before now. It's a delicate journey, as it is for anyone bold enough to take it, so thank you for walking it with both directness and care, honestly and humor, confidence and compassion. It's at times like this when these qualities become important courtesies. I appreciate you for doing that. 

And speaking of humor, I see what you did there in framing your question about how to approach this daunting task ahead. The backhanded reference to football...really?  That simile is so overused, I doubt anyone, but me, still visualizes the reference. So, thank you for that little stroll down memory "pain." We'll get to that another time. 

Your "unbiased" way of positioning our approach as if it were one way or the other, the latter clearly your personal preference, is well-played (NOT a football reference...Marching band...lol ...I tried...). And then quickly following that with that "Life of Lessons" LOL trope, or whatever that was, may fool some. But you know very well, that if this were rehashed as a topic for discussion on my second-favorite podcast, Sisters In Law, the unanimous consensus would be "leading the witness!" (Sorry, ladies, I love your podcast, but Noble Blood still ranks a smidge higher at the moment.) But after some reflection, in appreciation of your feeble attempt at humor, I will agree to your Lens Approach to revisit the past. You win. For now.

However, before we do, I must admit an "ah-ha" moment I just had in rethinking your comment on my challenge to learn things chronologically. It has just dawned on me why people glaze over, or have a faint look of fear, when I start to recount a story. I expect my listeners to succeed at the very task I, myself, cannot do. And I justify that by telling myself, "I want them to experience what I experienced in the  order, and with the information, I had so that they, too, can understand how I felt as I lived through it." But that's hypocritical, and it clearly explains why people respond to me the way they do. And, yes, it justifies your very detailed, but verbose, description of my expertise at the "total recall" to "deep snooze" plunge time and again. Humph...That's deep. I will think on that one and get back to you.  So about this Lens Approach...

Reading your letter was almost like thumbing through a shoebox of old photographs. You know, the ones that never made it into an album?  At first glance, there's a tinge of excited anticipation wondering what treasures you might find as you trace the past. Yet, as you randomly select picture after picture, that excitement gradually sinks. It tries to stay excited, but it quickly gets steeped in all of the  sensations, memories, smells, and sounds rush in with each image. But it's only when, on the third picture, trivial details, like knowing what you had for lunch on the day that picture was taken, that you realize the daunting task ahead. And as you reluctantly thumb through the remaining stacks of pictures, excitement drowns leaving you numb. 

Too much? A bit hyperbolic, perhaps? What I am trying to do, or say, or explain is ...OMG I am doing it AGAIN! But bear with me as I do have a point here. I make this clarification of hindsight not being 20/20, and the comparison to the daunting box images because I want to be fair to myself as we do this. I also want to be fair to others in recalling episodes from my past. So, whatever situation we explore together, I want to take the perspective of a journalist.  Not the "talking heads" journalists with opinions on cable TV (No disrespect to you, Mika and Joe, on Morning Joe MSNBC-I watch you every morning!), but the Walter Cronkite journalist who reported facts, and left the opinions for audience to figure out. So challenge me if I let opinions slip out, or if you see another perspective to consider. I may get quiet, at first, or I may defend myself. But eventually, when I have worked my tantrum out, I will come around, and revisit the situation with clean glasses. OK OK I was just trying to avoid the same old cliches.  You get my point. 

Oh damn! I, so, wanted to share my very first journal entry from January 6, 1993 in this letter. But, I feel I'm at a good stopping point for now. I am happy we've agreed on our approach, and that we've put up some guard rails. That journal entry can wait for now. 

Jeez, this feels like packing before a long trip: you need one more good sleep to rest up before departing! 

Sleep well, and rest up, my friend.  There are more "ah-ha" moments ahead!

Cheers,

Ron